Crescendos

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The wound

The wound is the place where the light enters you – Rumi

There is always a risk we endure when we love, it isn’t a choice we make, it’s what we are made of. We cave into words led by people we believe in or trust are successful, it’s like a script written by someone, enacted by you.

You have indeed handed over the baton to another, when it’s time you take charge. It’s time you sweat it out, move your feet swiftly and keep steady. Because if you try run away from a wound, you are most certainly going to carry it with you until you bleed dry.

Life really does throw rocks at you when you least expect it. There are plenty of celebrities talking of their journey and battle against depression. But those words will fade away like an echo, what you need to remember is to avoid absorbing the pain.

People pick so many ways, it’s incredible to watch. Depression is something you can breakdown within the four walls you have built up. I have seen beautiful poetry, pieces of artwork, compositions, little did I know that my wounds and distress could be channelizing into something beautiful.

But I believe that phenomenal amount of opportunities lie behind those pressures and wounds that are created.

It’s not the wall street journal I am talking about that you would sign up for. But for a fact that creativity often springs out of chaos.

Fall 🍁

Sipping on coffee

The sun is going down and the candle’s burning out, but you’re sipping on your coffee.

You said you were scared, that you needed some time saying ‘you can be my darling’ but days are moving fast…

I think I want to hold you but I’m not sure, I’m allowed

Cause you’re scared.

Are you scared I’ll leave you scarred or that you would do the same, but to me you’re a piece of art.

Just keep sipping on your coffee and watch the sky, until the dawn breaks.

“I’ve seen shades of blue and a darker shade of you, so perfect.”

Now you’re running away, so far away that I can hear my heart race.

I’d be sitting right beside you in the silence, sipping on some wine cause you’re just perfect…. So perfect to me.

I wish you could read my eyes and feel that fear the way I do, when you walk in the room. Ballroom’s dancing away…

Things were better, so much better before I met you there was no fear, no trembling fingers and no crazy off beating heart.

This could be perfect…but I guess it’s too late. The sun is going down and now the nightfalls.

P.s. – Ripped off the original.

Facts

De-stress

Sleep does not help if it’s your soul that’s tired.

Do things that scare you, that would make you feel alive, because 90% of what you’re stressing on today won’t be relevant.

It’s good to be the empath people look for, but if it starts to back fire, learn to stop. It’s okay if you’re hgihly sensitive, intutive, introvert but don’t let the narcissists be drawn to you.

Find the people who take the effort to make you happy. Stick to those that keep you joyous, and learn to graciously leave the rest behind.

Kindness is the language the deaf can hear and the blind can see – Mark Twain

The Real connection

For a long time now, I have suspected the connection with another person. The “real connection” simply isn’t possible. I’m curious to know if you disagree.

So tell me is it possible to truly know another person? Is it even a worthwhile persuit?

Yours is the only opinion I will trust, the only point of view that holds even a faintest interest.

I find my diversions..as I always do, but the days are long in this gray place.

Ever yours,

Moriarty.

————————reply awaits————–

We have spilled much ink, on our discussion of human connection, and we’re no closer to understanding that than we were, when the correspondence began.

I often feel like I am standing across a wide chasm shouting across, wondering if the response I hear comes from you or if it’s my own voice echoing back to me.

Seems to me that on my side of the canyon that the search for unity with another is the front of much of the world’s unhappiness. I conduct myself as though I’m above the matters of the heart chiefly because I have seen them carrode people I respect. But in my candid moments, I sometimes wonder if I take the stance I do, because love, for the lack of a better word, is a game I fail to understand so I opt not to play.

-S.H.

To be.

People. The world we live in. Full of people. Absolutely extremely populated with people. Living, breathing and working to blend in the society. Each of us waking up each day, to scurry through the crowd to journey our way through the beautifully long life filled with routine and boredom. All this boredom and somewhere along the way, we lose ourselves. We get lost in the world of things, that our world becomes chaos. Struggling to keep up with the rest of the world. Working hard to climb up the invisible ladder. Worrying about our place in the society. Some struggling to find out who they are, some who already aware of their true self and some happy with the way are deemed to be in the society whereas some, though unhappy with the way they are forced to be, living that way because they fear what would happen if they were any different.
In psychology, Identity is the qualities, beliefs, personality, looks and / or expressions that make a person or a group. It defines who or what one is or made of, from the eyes of oneself and the society.

When we talk about identity here, we aren’t talking about the unique factor that a person possesses which helps us distinguish them from others. We refer to personal identity and social identity. Where one, goes through the process of understanding oneself. It is true that situations and factors that contribute to our identity are very superficial most of the time. But the truth is, perspective is a large part of how we see ourselves. If I had to elaborate on the word identity, I would say that it includes aspects that are racial, religious, occupational and would also amalgamate with our personality, opinions and other processes of identification. To put it simply, it is the capacity of self reflection and awareness of the self.

Every single person, that exists or has existed, at some point of time would have gone through an identity crisis, or would, at the least have had second thoughts and internal debates as to what their true identity is. The most common time for anyone to go through these feelings, that are probably the most exhausting that exist, is somewhere around teenage and early twenties. That said, we can never say we may not have a crisis, later in life. But , this is probably when we really give our best to discover who we are.

Our culture, language and race play a major role, because at the end of the day, that is probably how most people would remember us. But there are other factors that contribute to the whole process. Personality, Gender identity and role, and Sexuality, are some other common aspects that pop into our head when we think about self identity.

Our race, colour, creed are not something we have control over. In fact it is not something anyone has any control over. No matter what the situation is anywhere in the world, a natural disaster that occurs or if it is the end of the world, nothing anybody says can change anything about it. I am brown. I am Indian. An Asian. I will probably be that for most part of my life. Someone could point out and say that I am not an Asian but a Caucasian. But I know that no matter how many times I am told that, I am still a brown person.

But the same doesn’t apply to Personality, Gender Identity and Sexuality. These are affected by the surroundings. The society we live in and their perception of us. Which is why these are the most difficult to deal with on our path to self discovery. Out of the stigma that surrounds these three aspects of identity , Gender Identity and Sexuality are the most painful. Most teenagers who go through a hard time, would have to deal with the shunning eyes of the community at large, but sometimes even their own blood.

When it comes to sexuality and gender identity, it is first and foremost a taboo. Anything that doesn’t fit the normal societal norms are to be rejected and strictly shunned, though it may cause grief and pain to the people we reject. Second thoughts on any sexuality,  other than heterosexuality, is a virus that needs to be extracted and destroyed. It is mind boggling how people are ready to let their children suffer into oblivion but not let them know that their sexuality is absolutely valid, all because ‘log kya kahenge’.

Some children probably think that they have some sort of mental disorder because they felt ecstatic when their friend of the same gender, compliments them or holds their hand. Some, probably aren’t even aware that heterosexuality is not the only sexuality that exists.

As a South Indian female, from a very orthodox family, till the age of 15, I didn’t know that homosexuality actually existed and that calling someone gay was not a word to put someone down. I wasn’t aware of  homosexuality, bisexuality or even asexuality till I passed high school.

When I finally understood what LGBTQ+ community is, how much they have gone through, how they are shunned for being themselves, it only made me want to cry and never come out. Because deep within, I knew I was unconsciously that part of the society that made them feel miserable. I didn’t want to be that.

Who you love is none of my business and as an individual, you have a right to choose to live anyway you like, as long as you are not putting the lives of others in danger.

I won’t lie, I am still ignorant of most of the sexualities that exist, the different gender identities people identify with, and my own sexuality. This doesn’t mean I will agree with the 30 different sexualities and 50 different gender identities people make up or identify with, because they require special snowflake treatment. I am still not going to refer to the random stranger on the bus as they or whatever made-up pronoun they want me to use, because it is grammatically incorrect and I am not a person who thinks of things a great deal when I end up offending someone.

However, if I have learnt anything, it is that we, as human beings, deserve to have the right to live as we please and be ourselves, without people judging us. They have as much right to love someone, get married, have children and not be shamed, just like the majority of the cisgendered heterosexual crowd in the society.

So know that you are a result of millions of years of evolution, please act like it and let people be.

Peace.

-G Pai

Platonic love

Certain smiles can be as permanent as scars- they do not just go away. -B.T

Like those thick canopies of maple trees and sweet scented wild flowers sprouting under the woods; that will grow back, no matter how devasted. The element of hope, the high spirited animal within you, tamed by ‘experience’ had a hold on my soul.

You seem to be radioactive, mutating each electric buzz in my head, engraved in my veins, the very thought of you much like cocaine, living a platonic lifestyle knit by something Divine.

I’ve got used to the thought of us, similar to those old library books that I read endlessly.Friends say, I should be over you by now, like a princess cut diamond that reflects on threaded paths of success. Through the odds, I chose to stay knowing it’s risky, willing to endure.

I have learn’t that misery is something very close to missing you.

So I promise my heart, body and soul to you. I offer you my solemn vow

to be your faithful patner in sickness and in health, in joy as well as sorrow.

To honor and respect you, and love you unconditionally for as long as we live.

Cause in the end on those hospital beds, surround by the loved ones, we aren’t about the fame or wealth we’ve accumulated, we are the very stories we live. To embrace the very thought of us. (twilight vows)

Cheers.

IIssac07.

The Wrong call

Trust me when I say this, it isn’t easy to let go or walk away, few things in life are so beautiful that it hurts. – Radical forgiveness

Love is beyond being an emotion, it’s a whole new realm of possibility and cheers.

You’ve always picked what you liked in life, but in love you choose to fall. You’re choices become theirs, suddenly everything about you is shared.

I’ve always been petrified when it comes to love. Two steps forward and two behind that’s how it goes.

Suddenly the hours between 12am and 6am, makes you feel like you’re either on top of the world or under it – Beau taplin ||in between.

The facts however remain,

It makes you weak in your knees, that little but permanent blush on the cheeks it’s all for real. But in our universe, everything is temporary and hence time is the most precious thing we could share.

Build it wise.